How did it get like this.

I am 27.
I am a virgin.
My best friend is 5 years old.
About an hour ago I sat at the train station waiting for a train and reading Better Homes and Gardens... in French.
It wasn't actually Better Homes and Gardens, it was the French equivalent, My Garden and My Home.
Except it was French so it was actually Mon jardin et ma maison.
And I wasn't really reading it I was more like flipping through it looking at lawn tractors and wondering if any of the brands were still around.
It was the Mon jardin et ma maison from April 1975.
Sorry, "Avril, 1975."

The last time I kissed a girl was 7 weeks ago.
She was from Denmark.
We were in Morocco.
We snuck into a hotel to swim in their pool, then we went back to our hotel had a siesta on the rooftop terrace.
I told her that I believe in God and I believe that through the atonement of Jesus Christ all men can find the power to change themselves into something better than they are.
You know, reach beyond their potential, become more than the sum of their parts.
She told me she doesn't believe in God, that she thinks when you die there is nothing.
Then we made out.

About 10 years ago I was 16.
The last day of my sophomore year a friend and I decided to walk to a party.
We didn't get there until 3 AM.
The party was over.
We didn't want to walk home so we snuck into a neighboring house that was still under construction and slept in the basement.
We thought it was hilarious.
When we told our friends they thought it was crazy.
We did too.
Hilariously crazy.

The day after I kissed the Danish girl I met Sophie and Mathilde.
They were both from Marseille, France.
They were both about to start their first year of teaching physics and chemistry at middle school.
Seven weeks later I got lost trying to find their new apartment in Epinay-Sur-Sienne, a suburb of Paris.
On my way back to the train station, after giving up the search for their apartment, I passed through a neighborhood that seemed strangely familiar.
It was almost like I was back in America, like my location had suddenly changed when I had turned the corner, the way it does in dreams.
I was filled with the fear that my life was just a dream and that I could wake up at any time, only I didn't know what I would wake up to, because I had no idea how long I had been dreaming.
Then I realized that the location hadn't changed, I was just sensing the all too familiar feeling of the unfamiliar.
That was roughly two hours ago.

11 weeks ago I boarded a night bus in Paris at roughly 3:30 AM.
I fell asleep.
When I woke up I had just missed my stop.
I started walking.
Around 5 in the morning I found some grass and tried to sleep for a few hours.
After fifteen minutes an airplane woke me up, and then a girl on a bike.
I didn't think it was hilarious.
I didn't think it was that crazy either.
This type of situation seems to be occurring more often.

I am 27.
I am a virgin.
My best friend is 5 years old.
About 50 minutes ago I sat at the train station asking myself, "How did it get like this?"
"When did I start thinking all of this was normal?"
...
I don't know.
Then the train came.
I tucked the "Avril 1975" issue under my arm and boarded.