The key to success is in how you define it.

Do you ever feel like maybe all humans try to kill themselves as teenagers and only failures make it into their twenties. I think it should be a requirement for public office to prove you are capable enough to successfully commit suicide.

Last meal

If you were about to be executed, what would you request as a last meal?

I would ask for a ceaser salad with crutons and feta cheese, homemade rolls, some raspberries, a large vegetarian pizza (with artichoke), 6 strips of bacon, fettuccine alfredo with chicken, some sauteed mushrooms, a spicey McChicken sandwich, 3 sausage patties, 3 pieces of french toast, a gallon of eggnog, 12 boiled eggs (in the spirit of Joey Lawrence), a chicken chimichanga, a whole watermelon, 3 filet mignons, a cut of dog (hell, I'm about to die, why not?), a baked potato with chili and sour cream, porcupine meatballs in gravy like my mom makes, a glass of O.J., and a little lamb. I think I would just take a bite of everything and waste the rest just to spite whoever was about to execute me. Exept for the porcupine meatballs in gravy, I would eat all of those. Also, I would request a fish burrito from Molcha Salsa, and some orange chicken. Oh and a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips... and a bottle of grape juice... and a number 6 from Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles... and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... with banana... and Paris Hilton.