Bars and tone

One time when I was in high school I ruptured my spleen. It sucked. I had to be confined to bed for 3 weeks.Getting out of bed for the first time in three weeks is an adventure, believe me. Severe muscle atrophy would be one of the major setbacks of medically induced comas, but worth it I think (refer to my first post.) Then for another three weeks I was confined to the top floor of my house, no stairs allowed. Actually I guess that it didn't suck that bad. I got to miss six weeks of school and I got to stay up late every night and sit in our massage chair lazy-boy and watch late night TV. I had the late night schedule memorized for most of the channels. Some of the more notable programs were Martha Stewart Living which came on at 3 in the morning followed by The Nanny.

On a side note, the first thing I thought when I saw Fran Drescher in This is Spinal Tap is "Who did she have to sleep with to get that role?" not that she is a poor actress, just that that was the very first thing I thought.

Anyway after the Nanny I guess the network realized it was scraping the bottom of the barrel in television programming, so in order to preserve some sense of decency they just aired two hours of bars and tone before the morning news came on. Yes, good times indeed. I think I enjoy watching television much more when I am taking prescription pain killers. Of course I doubt there are many things I wouldn't enjoy more after a couple of Loritabs (Prescription drug abuse is illegal and morally wrong... and fun. But I don't do it because it is WRONG... and expensive. But the price doesn't make a difference because I wouldn't do it anyway... or would I? No, no I wouldn't.)

Anyway the point of this whole thing which I am getting to is this: Have you ever noticed that late at night they have a lot of commercials and infomercials for mechanical beds? You don't really ever see those on at normal hours of the day. They always say something like "Having trouble sleeping at night?" I imagine most of the poeple who are still awake late enough to see these comercials say something like "No, I am sleeping like a fraking baby. Dip shit."

So... I guess it is smart for the mechanical bed companies to advertise late, because they are hitting their target audience of poeple who can't sleep at night. I just think it is funny. That is all.

Ambitions

I have three major goals for this blog.

Goal 1: I hope that no one ever sees this blog or finds out who it belongs to. So if you do happen to read it please don't post anything so that I can keep telling myslef that no one has ever seen it. This is an annonymous blog, and not one of those fake ones like my friend has but he tells select people about and he posts pictures of himself on it. No no, this is a real anonymous blog. You will never know who it is. It makes it more exciting that way. If you were to find out who it was you would not care in the least. But as long as you don't know (if anyone were to ever actually read this which I hope they don't) then you will always be thinking: I wonder if this is my friend, or the person I have a crush on, or could it be someone famous. Is this even really a guy? You will never know and so it is mysterious. One might ask "If you don't want anyone to see it then why have a blog." Good question. I guess it is kind of like an online journal that I can write zany things in or use profanity. For some reason I don't feel comfortable writing those things in my paper journal. I guess cause I know someone might read that one day and I want it to be mostly quality stuff in there. The other question you might be asking is "If no one ever sees or reads this aren't you kind of talking to yourself right now." Yes, and it is kind of weird.

Goal 2: My second goal is to never write the "F word" on this blog. I resisted creating a blog for so long because I thought that I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from using the "F word" but then I just really wanted to write about comas so I created one anyway and now I have a blog and so I thought I would write out this as a goal because that would help make it easier to keep.

I find that I gain alot of clarity flossing naked in front of the mirror.

Goal 3: I want to keep my posts short. Because it will be faster to write them and because it will be faster to read. You my be thinking that I am just some self important guy that thinks that people will care what he writes on his annonymous blog that he hopes that no one actually reads. But the fact is that I am not important and I don't really have a whole lot of anything to say so I will try to keep my blogs short so that I don't waste your time or my time.

It's not that I actually want to kill myself, it's just that if I found out tomorrow that I had terminal cancer I wouldn't make a big deal of it.

So those are my goals. I will add more as things go along and then maybe I will change the ones that I already have, or rearrange thier order. I just put drugs as one of the labels for this post even though it has nothing to do with drugs except for me saying that I put it as one of the labels even though it wasn't in this blog at all.

so yeah...